thecouscousqueen:

this is so clever i love it

thecouscousqueen:

this is so clever i love it

sarcastic-snowflake:

So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months now, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.”  tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work. 

creaseintime:

are you ready to get

creaseintime:

are you ready to get

arminsarmy:

marielovesgroban:

Don’t forget we have to wake up Green Day tomorrow.

Ok just a reminder to everyone: If you’re planning on tweeting billie joe armstrong “wake up” or something tomorrow, DON’T. The song is about his father’s death and so it’s really personal and treating it like a joke isn’t the right thing to do. Plus he’s asked so many times for people to stop and no one listens so yeah. Please don’t do that.

sarah-scales:

We have one kitten left at work and he does not like to be ignored! He demands you pay attention to his cute!

cornflakepizza:

mizliz:

meanwhile, this week on gotham 

#darkness #no paRENTS

cornflakepizza:

mizliz:

meanwhile, this week on gotham 

#darkness #no paRENTS

boots-n-cats:

my-stereo-heart-beats-for-you:

viergacht:

karensrnith:

"this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours"

Funny thing - a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children. 
Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) - she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did. 

WHAT THE FUCk

This went from stupid to really interesting in point 5 seconds.

boots-n-cats:

my-stereo-heart-beats-for-you:

viergacht:

karensrnith:

"this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours"

Funny thing - a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children. 

Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) - she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did. 

WHAT THE FUCk

This went from stupid to really interesting in point 5 seconds.